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Writer's pictureTerry Wayne Conder

2023

I started this year in a terrible depression. I'd just been involved in an accident and reinjured my back, right after qualifying for nationals in NPC Classic Masters 35+.


I still struggle with pain and mobility. I steadily slipped for months until reaching a full psychotic break, last spring.


I got into therapy and got on medication, just to find the only medication that has ever worked for me was $900 a month, and my insurance wouldn't cover it. I paid for it for two (maybe three) months, then just couldn't swing it.


I started playing live again, mainly to help pay the bills and keep myself off of the losing side of insanity. I played 2-4 shows every weekend, on top of working an extremely physically and mentally stressful job, 50-70 hours a week.


I was incredibly burned out, which aided immensely in my deterioration.


Luckily, I had the good sense to start recording, again... which helped ground and center me. It gave me purpose and allowed me to clear my mind.


By June I'd put enough money back and had enough shows booked to quit my job. Trident is a great company, with great people. I just couldn't do it anymore. Everyday the pain was worse, and I was just too tired to function. Not to mention the fact that I still had only the most fragile grip on reality.


I quit my job, and started looking for something I could actually do. I figured I'd just take the undetermined amount of time to recharge and reset.


Oh man, were my plans monkey wrenched in the most tremendous... and amazing way.


I met the most incredible person.


I've spent the last half of this year happy. Truly happy. I've felt peace... I swear, actual, bona-fide peace! I've had purpose and a drive that I've never experienced.


I found a new job that I'm excelling at. I'm looking at a potentially great promotion. I'm happy, there. This has allowed me to back off on burning myself out playing gigs, and opened up the opportunity to enjoy it, again.


I closed this year out pretty quietly, apart from my second studio release. I'm setting the gears in motion to really make things happen in 2024.


I've got plans!


To everyone who has seen me struggle this year and extended your friendship and care... you have no idea how grateful I am. Everyone who rooted for me... I see you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.


Stay tuned. Happy New Year, and much love!


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